American Blue Lacy Dog Blog

American Blue Lacy Dog Blog

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Unknown Author’s Notice To Dogs

Dear Dogs and Cat,
The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other
dishes are mine and contain my food. Placing a paw print in the middle of
my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and
dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Racing me
to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn’t help because I fall
faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about
this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your
comfort.  However, dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they
sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other, stretched
out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails
straight out and having tongues hanging out on the other end to maximize
space is nothing but sarcasm.

For the last time, there is no secret exit from the bathroom! If, by some
miracle, I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not
necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under
the edge in an attempt to open the door. I must exit through the same door
I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years – canine/feline
attendance is not required.

The proper order for kissing is: Kiss me first, then go smell the other
dog or cat’s butt. I cannot stress this enough.

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